The Oscars

Was it just me, or did the Academy Awards suck this year? Ellen, while I really want to like her, was just not funny. Gilligan jokes? The only thing I thought was relatively humorous was when she gave Martin Scorcese a copy of a screenplay she had written for him to look over. I really had planned to stay up and watch the whole thing, but suddenly at 10 I was asleep. No great speeches that I saw. Most of the dresses were very elegant and classy. None that really made me want to hurl, which is part of the fun of the whole evening. I thought Jennifer Hudson was very cute and obviously moved despite the fact that everyone knew she was going to win. Clint Eastwood ... was he having some kind of medical problem when he presented that lifetime achievement award? He's such an amazing director, he can really do whatever he wants, but it was embarrassing. And finally, maybe they should just rename the whole thing the Gore Academy Awards. Now, I thought "An Inconvenient Truth" was a great documentary and I'm fully behind his message. Hell, we have a hybrid car and a push mower! I brought a bottle of worm poop fertilizer home that I got from work for free, and I was excited about it. And I think Al is a very likable person. But the constant drooling over his lapels got to be a little much. And I thought the Melissa Etheridge song was lame, although I did fall asleep during the Dreamgirls numbers, and I'm not a fan of James Taylor or Randy Newman, so maybe it was the best one.

I was happy The Departed won, though, and that Little Miss Sunshine got a few awards, too.

Rats Just Love the Colonel

Thank goodness we no longer live in New York. Not that Matt and I ever ate at a single KFC, but still.

Check it out:
Rats Run Wild at KFC

The slideshow captions are pretty funny. For a local news website.

Guess I'm having a hairy baby!

Given that I've almost gone through one of those big plastic bottles of tums. Turns out the old wives may not be so dumb after all.

Tempest in a Teapot

God forbid your child know the word "scrotum" at age 10! With one word, a children's book sets off an uproar (from the NYT).

Action-Packed Weekend

Last weekend was the busiest I've had in a while, and other than being pretty worn out today, it was very nice. The weekend started out with a little Prairie Home Companion and dinner at Pazza Luna with my parents, which was great despite some work stress hanging over me until I got home at about 11:30. Luckily, there was an e-mail waiting for me that resolved most of the angst, so I was able to put it behind me for the rest of the weekend. I was prepared to be a little dorked out by PHC, but it was actually very entertaining. The only real nerdfest took place in the row in front of us, which did provide some additional entertainment for my mom and me.

The next day I headed out for Chicago and was the last one on the plane. Hey, I needed reading material and yogurt! And the boarding pass said they close the door TEN minutes before departure, not TWENTY-TWO minutes! You know when you get on a plane and they say, "Sarah?!" or whatever your name is, and tell you that they've been waiting for you, it's not a good sign.

However, I made it to Chicago and was thrilled to be picked up by the other members of the Core Four, with cupcakes no less (even if we did have to wait nearly 12 hours to enjoy them). We hit the mall, got pedis and manis, and went out to an awesome Costa Rican restaurant for an amazing meal (see Shan's blog for more info). The next day, we went to Chinatown for Dim Sum (and Shannon only got into one altercation with another very rude driver), and caught the Chinese New Year's parade. It was a beautiful day and lots of fun. Shannon and I then headed back to her place and basically crashed for the rest of the day, other than fixing her closet door.

I took the El to Midway the next morning, got back with no problems, and promptly got my hair cut. So much for growing it out! It is one length, though, finally. And then last night was the Mpls.St.Paul Mag "Best of the Best" party at the Guthrie. Awesome space. Amazing food. And cool band, complete with belly dancers and men dressed in gold paint. Which reminds me, we got to meet Ken and Barbie in Chicago! I hadn't realized that Ken's "leggings" were actually painted on, and I think I touched him. Ewww!!! At least I can show the kid some day that he/she has "met" Ken and Barbie! What a thrill! I almost got up the nerve to introduce myself to Tom Cruise, too, at Minibar ...

All in all, a great weekend, though by the end of it I was definitely ready for some quality time with Matt. Who shaved in honor of Valentine's Day, by the way!

Moustachio Fa Fa

Matt just sent me this link to check out for some examples of his "amigos." Which leads me to disclose the fact that he used the term "Moustachio Fa Fa" as one the baby might one day call him. Luckily, he was kidding.

Really.

I'm pretty sure he won't still have a moustache when the kid is talking.

Right, Matt?

COLD

This morning I got up, turned on the news and discovered it was literally 15 below. Not -15 windchill, just -15. I called work to see if it was cancelled, but alas, not. This is Minnesota, not sure what I was thinking. I called my friend Jolene to offer her a ride (we carpool most days), and ran outside to see if the car would start. The Volvo wasn't too happy about it, but after a few seconds it started up. I went inside for breakfast and left after about 15 minutes, wishing Matt a happy doctor's appointment and day off.

Jolene and I were happily on 35W on our way into work, recounting our respective weekends, when the engine started acting weird, so I started to get into the right lane. Sure enough, all the lights flashed on the dashboard and the Volvo died. I called Geico emergency roadside assistance and Jolene and I sat on the side of the highway in -12 weather. What an awesome way to start the week! Eventually, Matt showed up so we had a warm car to sit in while waiting for the tow truck, and then Hans showed up and gave Jolene a ride to work. Convoy! After maybe 45 minutes of sitting in silence listening to NPR, and Matt pondering the likely outcome of all this (the car is dead and we will now have to buy a new car and have additional car payments), Stevie Bobby's tow truck showed up. "Get back in the car and stay warm!" the guy yelled at Matt when he ventured outside to help, and then proceeded to dangle most of his extremities into traffic as he hooked the car up to the flatbed, bareheaded. We made it to the Volvo dealer with only one mishap (Matt tried to pass the truck to show him the way and the tow truck driver—very nice guy, actually—accidentally almost ran him off the road and blew through a red light). Anyway, we made it and it sounds like it's the alternator. Matt had to cancel his doctor's appointment, which was a bummer because it took him a year to make, but such is life. And I was only two hours late to work.

The good news is we had a very nice weekend with his parents, and Matt and his dad successfully took out the staircase railing upstairs and installed a new half-wall and bookcase. Looks great, and it went very smoothly! Mary and I went out to lunch with my mom and ventured into A Pea in the Pod for a little maternity bra shopping. Let's just say my size was a little shocking. The saleswoman couldn't believe I was still occasionally trying to stuff myself into an old B-cup. Anyway, verging on TMI here.

Happy Feb. 5.

Chuck Norris Facts

These were circulated a while ago, but you can never be reminded too often about Chuck Norris' powers. You know, just in case you have a CN run-in.

Chuck Norris Facts

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.


• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.


• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.


• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.


• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.


• Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.


• Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.


• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.


• There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.


• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.


• Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.


• Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.


• There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.


• Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.


• Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.


• Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.


• Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.


• Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost


• Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.


• Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Sun Puppy

My friend Jolene and I were driving to work this morning when we noticed the sun was sending this pillar of light into the sky and pretty dern cool looking. Then we realized it wasn't even the sun, just this random light ray sticking up from the earth. On the other side of the sun was an identical pillar/ray. I called Matt and he explained that it's a partial rainbow caused by humidity/ice crystals in the air in the winter. Further research uncovered the phenomenon's name: a sun dog. I had never seen one before! Perhaps they're common, but I thought it was cool. (I didn't take this photo; it's courtesy of Wikipedia.)

P.S. It's a day of phenomena ... Check out Super Tonio!!! 14.5 pounds. The poor mother.